This has come up in multiple groups I belong to. It actually frightens me and I want to be very open and honest with all of my readers. Not everyone is going to agree with me however I want to spread this message.
First and Foremost! God has a definition of love. It is as follows “Love is patient and kind. Love is not JEALOUS or boastful or Proud or RUDE. IT DOES NOT DEMAND ITS OWN WAY! It is not irritable and it keeps no records of being wrong. It does not rejoice at injustice but rejoices when ever the truth wins out. Love never gives up and never loses faith, is always hopeful and endures through every circumstance” 1 Corinthians 13:47.
Secondly, these are some other definitions I want to talk about (and we probably don’t talk about it enough):
“Spousal abuse is generally defined as any abusive conduct between intimate partners who are married, dating, or residing in the same residence. It can refer to single instances of abuse, although it usually refers to a pattern of repeated or cyclical abuse over time”
“We define domestic violence as a pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another intimate partner. Domestic violence can be physical, sexual, emotional, economic, or psychological actions or threats of actions that influence another person.”
“Verbal abuse (also known as reviling or “verbal bullying”) is described as a negative defining statement told to the victim or about the victim, or by withholding any response, thereby defining the target as non-existent.”
“Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse used by narcissists in order to instill in their victim’s an extreme sense of anxiety and confusion to the point where they no longer trust their own memory, perception or judgment. … The emotional damage of Gaslighting is huge on the narcissistic victim.”
Lastly, this is what the Bible says about how husbands should act:
Genesis 2:24English Standard Version (ESV)
“ Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”
Ephesians 5:25-29English Standard Version (ESV)
“25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.[a] 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church,”
Colossians 3:19 English Standard Version (ESV)
“19 Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.”
1 Peter 3:7 English Standard Version (ESV)
“7 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you[a] of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.”
Now I do think that every one gets to make their own choices. However I want to be clear that God does give us Very Clear instructions on what to look for in a husband. Therefore if your husband does not meet the requirement you must look at the relationship in front of you and decide. I have seen the consequences of abuse and I do not want anyone (man,woman,or child) to be in an unhealthy situation just because they’re afraid that God will be upset. Please remember always to be a light to your Christian sisters and remind them that God FORGIVES!
- Is this a healthy Marriage or a marriage with the potential to be healthy?
- God will respond in your life and if you are paying attention you will know what to do with the guidance of the Holy Spirit.
- If you marriage has any of the behavior in the definitions above you are in a sick and potentially dangerous situation. Reach out for help. (Links Below)
Lately I have been reading so many statements from women of all walks of life having this conversation. They seemed confused and I was touched by the Holy Spirit because the Bible is very clear on the matter. Please see the links below if you or some one you know is in need of help. Or if you would like to get involved and join the fight against domestic violence.